Teen Dating in the 21st Century

You never fall as hard as when you fall in love for the first time as a teen . The tummy butterflies, anticipation, uncertainty and drama reach an almost unbearable pitch as you navigate the unchartered territory of teen love and sex. It's also a time of confusion and anxiety for many teenage girls and boys. It's a minefield of hormones, as sexuality, flirting and love are explored. But first thing's first, you need to let that special someone know you're out there!

Telling someone you like them Getting someone else to do the dirty work for you is such a cop out. It makes you look immature - you might as well do a handstand or squash some ants. As a teenage girl, I remember having to walk to the phone box at the end of the road and then feel sick as I worked up the courage to call the boy I fancied. Then I would stutter my way through asking him out in a totally uncool way. Things have changed today. You can test the water by chatting online or in an internet chat room. If it looks promising, you can send an email or a text without anyone having to hear the fear in your voice.

How to move it forward If you get tongue tied when you clap eyes on the object of your desire, then you're going to have to learn to chill out and FAST. The most important thing for long-lasting relationships is the ability to communicate. This is something teenage boys are not renowned for, but you can't stand awkwardly and shuffle side-to-side this time. You need to get the flow going and find the things you have in common. Keep the conversation light hearted and funny. When you start to click, the fun begins.

Slowly does it There's nothing worse than having a face lunge at you and a wet slobbering tongue being shoved down your throat before you can say 'I like hip hop' Groping or copping a quick feel and even yawning and putting your arm around your date are too cheesy quaver for words. Even though we are living in the digital age, that doesn't mean romance is dead. Before swapping saliva and fumbling with bra straps, take time to get to know your date. What do they like doing and what are their likes/dislikes The best relationships are founded on friendship. So take it slowly and don't force the pace. Let things develop naturally.

Knowing when the time is right Teen love is intense; you'll want to do everything you can for your partner and feel as close to them as possible. This feeling can be totally overwhelming. The emotional power of the heart can shout loudly over what your head is telling you to do. If you're thinking about having sex, trust your instinct and feelings. Don't be pressured by your partner, if your partner loves you they will wait until you are ready. Don't take notice of what your friends are saying either (they could be lying about their own experiences). I went to my 10-year school reunion and an old friend admitted that she had lied about when she lost her virginity! I had been really impressed (and a bit jealous) when she told us all at school.

Saying NO! Beware of the power of drink. It can lead to the removal of inhibitions and, in some cases, clothes. What might start out as a harmless snogging session can get out of hand quickly and lead to sex before your brain realises what is happening. When contemplating sex as a teen, don't do it while completely hammered with someone you don't care for deeply. Respect yourself and don't give your body away easily. The consequences of drunken sex can be mild, such as embarrassment the morning after, or far more serious, such as catching Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDS) or getting pregnant. If you don't want to do it, say NO.

Practise safe sex and be happy Far be it from us to preach to you the basics of sex education, but it is worth remembering that you only have to have sex the once to change your life forever. If you don't want STDs or to become a teenage parent, make sure you carry a condom with you and USE IT!

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